My Letter to TN State Senator Stacey Campfield

Dear Senator Campfield,

I am e-mailing you in response to the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.  While I appreciate your passion for protecting students, this matter is not one that I can say I agree with you in the slightest manner.

First let me start off with telling you a story.  It was 1993 and I was a 6th grade student at New Providence Middle School in Clarksville, Tennessee.  As you are well aware, the AIDS epidemic was fiercely on the rise at this time.  I will never forget going to the school’s open house with my mother, and my science teacher, Mrs. James, telling the parents that she would have to have permission from all of them to talk about AIDS in the classroom.  All of the parents were ok with that…all but one.  At the end of our meeting with the teacher, one of my classmate’s parents told the teacher that she didn’t feel such topics were appropriate for the classroom, and that this was “truly an issue for gay people only.” I cried when I left the open house that day.  I was 11 years old and I knew what she said was not true, and her ignorance was depriving us of the ability to be properly educated on the subject.  That year Mrs. James did not teach about AIDS because of one parent’s ignorance of the subject.

My reason for telling you that story is several fold.  We now are well aware that AIDS is not just a “gay issue.” AIDS affects individuals of every race, sexual orientation, religious affiliation and creed.  It is not a biased virus.  However, because one individual chose not to educate herself properly about the illness, many children were not allowed to learn about it.  While I am still bothered by that day, I am thankful to this woman.  If it were not for her ignorance, I would not be such an advocate for the rights of all, including those of the LGBT community.

It is out of sheer ignorance that we were denied proper education of a very serious matter, and the bill you have proposed does the very same thing.  You are denying the children of Tennessee the right to learn about what it means to accept others, and you are essentially breeding more hate in an already fragile community of students.

It is hard being different.  It’s even more difficult to be different when the state says you cannot discuss your differences.  You cannot talk to your guidance counselor about being gay.  What if the only stability a child has is their teacher?

Your bill does nothing but further fuel the fire of hate and further deprive our young children proper education and skills that will help them understand that no matter our differences we are all people deserving equality.

I am fully aware that educating teachers on how to properly teach and or counsel students about homosexuality will take time, but it is worthwhile.  I also understand that you’re concerned that teachers are already overloaded with math, science and English.  We teach to a test.  Whether you choose to admit it or not, that is in essence what we do in the state of Tennessee.  Why not make the investment to teach to the test of life?  These are skills that children will carry with them throughout their lives, both socially and professionally.  Furthermore, to address your concern that a teacher might “do more harm than good” when addressing the subject of homosexuality, why not make this a part of guidance class?  My son has guidance at least once every other week, and nothing would make me happier than knowing that he is learning social skills that he will carry with him for the rest of his life.

Also on the subject of teachers potentially doing “more harm than good,” if there is a teacher that is so ignorant and expresses such a lack of control that he or she cannot keep their personal feelings out of the classroom, than they need to be counseled and/or removed from their position. The classroom is not the place for a teacher’s biased opinion.  Teachers cannot teach my child that one religion is better than another, or that one race is greater than another no matter their personal feelings.  I think it is time that we add no sexual orientation is greater than another to that list.

I am also aware that you have made mention of the anti-bullying legislation in your arguments that students are protected from bullying because of this bill.  To my knowledge, the anti-bullying campaign is not available in all schools.  My son’s school just started it this year, and I know that last year there were only three or four schools in Montgomery County that it was made available to.

The anti-bullying campaign educates students about being responsible and respectful, however it cannot stop bullying.  It can attempt to prevent it, but it cannot stop it.  While I understand that you co-sponsored the anti-bullying legislation, you have just sponsored a bill that contradicts it.  At a time when the suicide rates of our young people are growing each day because of bullying, I cannot believe that you would even consider proposing such legislation.

Whether you are for or against the rights of the LGBT community, one matter that is ridiculously obvious is that you have shamelessly ignored separation between church and state.  I understand that you are a Christian.  I am a Christian as well, and I find it deeply disturbing that while we are called to love others as ourselves, you would propose legislation that promotes ignorance, misinformation and hate.  Your bill is making it obvious to the rest of the world that Tennessee has missed the mark, that we are behind the rest of the country in our educational practices and that we are not concerned with the well-being of LGBT children, or children who come from LGBT homes.

I want more than anything to be proud of the state that I live in, but this simply isn’t possible if we continue to wallow in our ignorance of the LGBT community.  It is my hope, and ultimately my prayer, that we will live out Mark 12:28-31 and love our neighbors as ourselves.  With your proposed legislation, we are denying our teachers the right to speak freely and answer our children’s questions. This will only result in continued ignorance and intolerance of the LGBT members of our society.

Sincerely,

Kelli Faerber

Surprises in the Heartfelt Department

Last night I was blessed to participate in the Spaghetti Dinner to benefit F.U.E.L. at Xtreme Ministries. It was a wonderful night of service and incredible fellowship. It was wonderful to see the people we'd given tickets to come in and have a meal they might not have otherwise had. That alone would have been worth it, but the fact that the concerted effort yielded enough funds to feed the students that receive food from F.U.E.L. for a month made my eyes well up with tears. Children who would otherwise spend their weekends with little to no food now would be able to eat. That was overwhelming.

Maybe because there was a point in my life that I was walking the fine line between being able to buy food or standing in a line at a food pantry. Even working five jobs at one time I was not able to make ends meet. There were times when Zachary was little that people blessed us with food and clothing that I couldn't afford to buy. I thank God for those times, because it makes me so much more passionate about serving those in need.

When we were cleaning up after last night's dinner, Lyndsey asked me if I knew of anyone who could use two large bags of salad mix because they didn't use it and didn't want it to go to waste. I contacted the director of Loaves and Fishes and she told me that I could drop it off the next day.

I called Loaves and Fishes this morning and spoke with a gentleman named John. I told him everything and said that I just wanted to make sure someone would be there when I got there. He thanked me profusely and said that they would be there. When I arrived, John greeted me at the door and helped me bring in the items. He asked me again where the food had come from and I told him.

"Thank you so very much Miss Kelli. I used the last of my produce this morning," he said.

In that moment I felt a surge of emotions, and tried to keep myself together. I was just the delivery person, but felt so blessed to do so and hear what he told me and hand him the gift that the church was giving them. Albeit small someone was going to be fed because of it.

God really spoke to me in that moment. More. More needs to be done. More needs to given. More action needs to be taken. We are willing to spend $5 on a cup of coffee but not spend an extra $5 or more at the grocery store to donate to the local food pantries, or donate to the food pantries or soup kitchens directly. Would it hurt us so much to spend the extra money at the grocery store and drop the food off at Loaves and Fishes, Manna Cafe, F.U.E.L. etc? They are all in need our help so that they can serve our community.

To me it's a cause that strikes a chord deep in my soul. I look at the food in my cupboard and think how blessed I am, but I am also reminded of all of those who might go hungry tonight. So here is my challenge to all of us: Give. Give more. You will be serving those who would otherwise go without, and you will be greeted with the greatest of surprises in the heartwarming department...knowing that because of you someone will be able to eat.

"For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited me in." Matthew 25:35

Dear John

I gave too much credit to the story

Of why you weren’t present in my life

I didn’t realize at the time

You were poison of the bitterest kind

You left me to feel

Underestimated

Underappreciated

Under rug swept

You left me to feel

Unworthy

Ungood

Undeserving

What’s a girl to do with that?

How’s this girl supposed to feel?

And you wonder why I won’t

Why I’ll never call you dad.

You can be so lethal

Words slice like blades

It’s all about you

All the time and I’m tired of it

Could you ever see me?

Could you ever look beyond you?

Your tunnel vision is making me crazy

Your stories ever changing

I have had enough

Why must you always

Did your claws in so deep

Why is it I lack the ability

To make you understand

Do you even see me?

Do you have a clue who I am?

Allow me to introduce you

To the girl you left in 1982

I’m the girl who can’t believe anyone

I’m the girl who doubts everything

The queen of second-guessing

Nothing I do will ever be good enough

Dear John,

I kick my own ass

No one can beat me down

Quite like I can

I pick myself apart

I worry the world I know

Will soon fall out

From under my feet

For me to thrive

For me to survive

It’s time to cut the cord

It’s time to let go

Every time, every single time

You verbally beat me down

You tear me apart

Those days are over

It’s time for me to move

To put one foot in front of the other

To leave the past in the past

It’s time to bid farewell

I forgive you

But I must move past you

If there's a shred

Of hope for me to grow

Snow Day...Again

All week snow was in the forecast for Thursday, but if you're a Tennessean, you know that the weather people generally don't have a clue what they're talking about. I think this is why everyone had some serious doubts about us getting any snow at all. Low and behold, we got snow. Quite a bit of snow actually.

Last night when I finally got home, the wind was gusting so hard and the snow hurt when it hit my face. It was crazy, but it sure is beautiful today. Especially since I don't have to drive in it. I had scheduled to be off work today so that I could be here when our furniture was delivered. However, due to the blizzard of 2011, Haverty's will not be delivering our furniture today. So, I am enjoying the view from my window, doing a little blogging and spending some quality time with Zachary.

This morning I was doing a little work on my computer when in my peripheral I saw something walking outside. I looked and realized there was a beautiful fox walking around in the lot across the street. I yelled for Zachary to get my zoom lens for me, and I was able to get some pictures. Unfortunately, they didn't turn out as great as I would have liked since I accidentally left the camera in the aperture priority setting. Ugh.

Here are a few pictures I've taken since yesterday. Enjoy!

PS TDOT, if you're reading this, my road still needs to be plowed. Thank you.

Kelli

The Facebook Fast: Day 4

Psalm 119:156 Your mercies, God, run into the billions; following your guidelines, revive me.

Wow...is that powerful! Your mercies run into the billions! I am so thankful for this verse, because I know I am eternally in need of mercy and grace. :). Especially on days like today when I feel like I can barely lift my head up.

Tonight is the 4th night of my Facebook fast, and it is also the 4th night of my 21 Day Fast reading plan. Tonight's scripture was Psalm 119. This is the longest Psalm if I'm not mistaken. This verse spoke to me in ways I never expected, and for that I am abundantly thankful.

Mercy. Today I needed truckloads of mercy. I am so drained by the events of the day that I don't have the energy or desire to share it. I just feel spent, but I am so thankful for the extra time in the word with God so that I can get through it. Praying for a better day tomorrow.

Big love and hugs,

K

The 21 Day Facebook Fast: Day 2

Today is the second day in my 21 day fast from Facebook, and I must admit it has not come without temptation. It sounds silly, doesn't it?

As I explained before, I am fasting from my personal Facebook account. I have a work account that I created under a generic name, because part of my job is to post the news to the ClarksvilleNow Facebook page. It's a requirement, but I still felt that the Lord was telling me I needed to step back from my personal page as it has taken my focus from other more important things.

For instance, I spend more time checking on and posting to Facebook than I spend in prayer or reading my bible. (Yes, I just admitted that.) I catch myself checking it while I am cleaning, or having dinner with my family. I have allowed it to take my attention, and I have felt very convicted about it. So, it was the obvious choice to me when I decided to fast.

Temptation

Temptation has hit me quite a bit today. Almost to the point that I debated whether or not to even post to the ClarksvilleNow Facebook page. I wanted to see what my friends were saying, how their days were going, etc. The trigger for that happened this morning.

I was telling my mom that I was fasting from Facebook, and she told me, "Well there was something on Facebook this morning that you might want to know about...Lynn's (my cousin and lifelong best friend) son had a seizure last night."

My heart started going crazy. Lynn had called me last night, and I saw it on my missed call list this morning. I remembered thinking it was odd thar she called so late, but never once thought it could have been something so severe. I felt guilt for not knowing about it, and for not having read about it.

Now, in hindsight, I see the complete irrationality of that statement. Lynn called me last night to tell me about it, so there was no need for me to read about it on Facebook. I did get in touch with her, and her little boy is doing great now. But isn't it funny how the devil used that situation to invoke such extreme guilt? I felt disconnected, but it's like I have said, "If someone needs to get ahold of me they can email or call me." Lynn called me. There was no need for me to read it on Facebook whatsoever.

21 Day Fast Reading Plan

This evening I started day two of my reading plan listed above. Today it talked about telling your friends about your fast so they can keep you accountable. This is the biggest part of the reason that I am sharing this journey with you. I ask that you all keep me in your prayers for the next nineteen days, and keep me accountable.

Big thanks & love,

Kelli

The Facebook Fast

Today was the first day of my 21 day Facebook fast. I have decided to do this because, well, I just feel in my heart that it would be good to give it up for a while. Many friends of mine are fasting for twenty-one days, and I was very encouraged by their fasting. So I am joining in! I am excited to see the ways God will work in my life in the next three weeks. It has been eye opening already! I catch myself trying to log in a lot, and I'm always thinking of things to "post". Crazy huh? It's funny how Facebook has been so tightly woven into my daily tapestry! I will try to write a little everyday about this 21 day endeavor. I can't wait to see a more intentional, less distracted and more connected version of myself in the coming weeks!