Saturday, February 19, 2011

Surprises in the Heartfelt Department


Last night I was blessed to participate in the Spaghetti Dinner to benefit F.U.E.L. at Xtreme Ministries. It was a wonderful night of service and incredible fellowship. It was wonderful to see the people we'd given tickets to come in and have a meal they might not have otherwise had. That alone would have been worth it, but the fact that the concerted effort yielded enough funds to feed the students that receive food from F.U.E.L. for a month made my eyes well up with tears. Children who would otherwise spend their weekends with little to no food now would be able to eat. That was overwhelming.

Maybe because there was a point in my life that I was walking the fine line between being able to buy food or standing in a line at a food pantry. Even working five jobs at one time I was not able to make ends meet. There were times when Zachary was little that people blessed us with food and clothing that I couldn't afford to buy. I thank God for those times, because it makes me so much more passionate about serving those in need.

When we were cleaning up after last night's dinner, Lyndsey asked me if I knew of anyone who could use two large bags of salad mix because they didn't use it and didn't want it to go to waste. I contacted the director of Loaves and Fishes and she told me that I could drop it off the next day.

I called Loaves and Fishes this morning and spoke with a gentleman named John. I told him everything and said that I just wanted to make sure someone would be there when I got there. He thanked me profusely and said that they would be there. When I arrived, John greeted me at the door and helped me bring in the items. He asked me again where the food had come from and I told him.

"Thank you so very much Miss Kelli. I used the last of my produce this morning," he said.

In that moment I felt a surge of emotions, and tried to keep myself together. I was just the delivery person, but felt so blessed to do so and hear what he told me and hand him the gift that the church was giving them. Albeit small someone was going to be fed because of it.

God really spoke to me in that moment. More. More needs to be done. More needs to given. More action needs to be taken. We are willing to spend $5 on a cup of coffee but not spend an extra $5 or more at the grocery store to donate to the local food pantries, or donate to the food pantries or soup kitchens directly. Would it hurt us so much to spend the extra money at the grocery store and drop the food off at Loaves and Fishes, Manna Cafe, F.U.E.L. etc? They are all in need our help so that they can serve our community.

To me it's a cause that strikes a chord deep in my soul. I look at the food in my cupboard and think how blessed I am, but I am also reminded of all of those who might go hungry tonight. So here is my challenge to all of us: Give. Give more. You will be serving those who would otherwise go without, and you will be greeted with the greatest of surprises in the heartwarming department...knowing that because of you someone will be able to eat.


"For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited me in." Matthew 25:35

Friday, February 11, 2011

Dear John

I gave too much credit to the story

Of why you weren’t present in my life

I didn’t realize at the time

You were poison of the bitterest kind


You left me to feel

Underestimated

Underappreciated

Under rug swept


You left me to feel

Unworthy

Ungood

Undeserving


What’s a girl to do with that?

How’s this girl supposed to feel?

And you wonder why I won’t

Why I’ll never call you dad.


You can be so lethal

Words slice like blades

It’s all about you

All the time and I’m tired of it


Could you ever see me?

Could you ever look beyond you?

Your tunnel vision is making me crazy

Your stories ever changing


I have had enough


Why must you always

Did your claws in so deep

Why is it I lack the ability

To make you understand


Do you even see me?

Do you have a clue who I am?

Allow me to introduce you

To the girl you left in 1982


I’m the girl who can’t believe anyone

I’m the girl who doubts everything

The queen of second-guessing

Nothing I do will ever be good enough


Dear John,

I kick my own ass

No one can beat me down

Quite like I can


I pick myself apart

I worry the world I know

Will soon fall out

From under my feet


For me to thrive

For me to survive

It’s time to cut the cord

It’s time to let go


Every time, every single time

You verbally beat me down

You tear me apart

Those days are over


It’s time for me to move

To put one foot in front of the other

To leave the past in the past

It’s time to bid farewell


I forgive you

But I must move past you

If there's a shred

Of hope for me to grow